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Sacred Pause & the Path to Freedom

The past few days have felt heavy. Between the news cycle and the looming presidential debate, it’s hard to ignore the way tension creeps into our hearts. There’s a pressure that builds, a simmering frustration, and it doesn’t take much—a comment from a family member, a dismissive remark in a conversation—for that tension to spill over. I’ve felt it myself. It’s easy to snap back, shut down, or get defensive. These knee-jerk reactions often define us in ways we don’t intend—people may no longer see us as someone willing to listen or seek understanding. When our righteous anger shifts into self-righteousness, we can lose sight of the healing God is calling us to offer the world. But that doesn’t mean we’ve missed our chance. God’s grace meets us, not in perfection but in our efforts to return, pause, and try again. Each pause, no matter how difficult, is an invitation to step back into the work of healing—work we’re never disqualified from, no matter how many times we need to begin again.

This past Sunday, just before the benediction, I encouraged you to join me in practicing the Sacred Pause. It’s the space between what happens to us and how we respond. Lately, I find myself leaning into that space and discovering surprising freedom. When life throws us off balance, the Sacred Pause helps us stop reacting and start responding. As I mentioned, “Sometimes, after the pause, the response might be exactly what you originally wanted to say or do. The difference is that now your response comes from a place of peace and thoughtfulness, not frustration.” In that brief pause, we rediscover the freedom Christ offers us—not just from unhealthy reactions, but from the need to respond impulsively to every situation with anger or fear. Click here to learn how to practice the Sacred Pause.


Many great religious traditions embrace the importance of creating space between action and reaction. In moments when we feel overwhelmed by emotions, finding that space is critical to breaking the cycle of impulsive reactions. This pause allows us to reconnect with God and listen for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I’ve been inspired by the broader wisdom found in the work of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, whose profound reflections on human resilience and choice offer insight for anyone navigating difficult emotional experiences. Frankl wrote:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Viktor Frankl

Frankl’s words resonate deeply with the Christian practice of the Sacred Pause. It’s in that pause that we make room for the Holy Spirit to guide us, allowing God’s voice to rise above the noise of our emotions. When we slow down and invite God into that space, we can respond not from fear or anger, but from a place centered in love, grace, and wisdom.

This practice reflects the liberation Paul speaks of in his letter to the Romans, where he encourages the early church to live in the freedom of Christ’s love rather than remain bound by division and conflict. And, in those moments where we struggle or fall short, we remember that God’s grace is always present, drawing us back into that space of transformation. Explore how you can incorporate the Sacred Pause into your daily life.


Returning to the World’s Tension

We live in a world brimming with tension, frustration, and conflict. In our own church life, we’ve felt it too—whether it’s during a difficult conversation in a business meeting or while serving in Community Ministry when impatience gets the better of someone. Perhaps you’ve encountered it on the road, stuck behind the guy with the offensive bumper sticker, or while watching a political talk show where contempt seems to be the driving force. These moments test our capacity to live out the love and grace we’re called to embody.

But here’s the good news: we’re growing together. Every time we lean into the Sacred Pause, we take one step closer to healing ourselves and the world around us. The Sacred Pause begins with us—giving God the space to transform our hearts. In that pause, we not only stop our own unhealthy reactions but also make room for others to be seen, heard, and transformed. When people feel understood, they too are invited into their own pause, to reconsider, and begin again. We may not always get it right the first time or even the second, but the love of God, always present and always at work, gives us the space to try again. And as we grow together in our faith, we get to participate in God’s healing project—a project that is grounded in love, grace, and reconciliation.

Together, as a church community, we have the privilege of being instruments of healing in a world that so desperately needs it. Let’s keep growing, keep pausing, and keep discovering the ways God is leading us to love more deeply, to listen more closely, and to heal more faithfully.


Yours in Christ,
Rev. Sterling W. Severns, Pastor


Going Deeper:

God has used many voices to help me grow in my faith, and Arthur Brooks has been one of them. If you’re interested in exploring more about the power of the pause, I encourage you to watch or listen to the conversation between Simon Sinek and Arthur Brooks at the 92nd Street Y, where they discuss the importance of pausing before reacting. You can find the interview here or listen to the podcast here.


John Gottman’s Four Horsemen—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—are harmful patterns that damage relationships, often arising when we react out of intense emotions. You can learn more about these patterns here.

Spiritual Discipline: The Sacred Pause

Morning Reflection: Rediscovering the Freedom to Choose

As described in the article, “Sacred Pause & the Path to Freedom”, the Sacred Pause offers us the freedom that Christ gives—not just from unhealthy reactions, but from the need to respond impulsively in anger or fear. Begin your day by reflecting on the freedom found in Christ’s love and the grace available when we pause, listen, and invite God into our responses.


During the Day: Practicing the Sacred Pause

When you feel emotional or overwhelmed, practice the Sacred Pause by following these steps:

  1. Notice the Moment: Acknowledge when strong emotions arise, without rushing to respond.
  2. Pause and Breathe: Take a few deep breaths, giving yourself time to pause. This space helps you avoid reacting impulsively and invites God’s guidance to work through you.
  3. Ask Self-Awareness Questions:
    • What am I feeling right now?
    • Why am I feeling this way? (Is this connected to something deeper, like past experiences or emotions?)
    • What is God trying to show me through this feeling?
    • Is this a moment where I should respond now, or is God calling me to wait?
    • How would God want to respond through me in this situation?
  4. Recognize the Need to Wait: Remember that the Sacred Pause might lead you to wait for the right time to respond. Sometimes, waiting is part of God’s wisdom, allowing you to reflect more deeply before acting. Trust that waiting is an active, spiritual practice that creates space for God to guide you.

Evening Reflection: Journaling and Sharing

At the end of the day, take a few moments to reflect on your experiences with the Sacred Pause and consider these questions:

  1. Did I create space today to pause and respond thoughtfully?
    How did the Sacred Pause free you from reacting impulsively or defensively, as described in the article, “Sacred Pause & the Path to Freedom”?
  2. Were there moments when I forgot to pause and reacted out of emotion?
    Reflect on specific moments when you acted without thinking. Was it with a family member, coworker, or someone else? Did your reaction create a chain reaction, escalating tension or misunderstanding? This connects to the article’s message about knee-jerk reactions and their consequences.
  3. How did the Sacred Pause help me rediscover my freedom?
    Did the pause help you break a cycle of frustration? Reflect on the freedom from emotional reactivity that Paul describes in Romans and how this practice brings you closer to that freedom.
  4. What deeper emotions or past experiences might have influenced my reactions?
    Think about moments where your reactions were stronger than expected. Could this be connected to something from your past? This ties into the article’s insight on how deeper emotional or historical baggage can influence our reactions.
  5. In what ways did I experience or offer God’s grace today?
    Reflect on how you received or extended grace during your day. Remember that even when we fail to pause, God’s grace meets us, offering us second chances to begin again.

Hopeful Word on Second Chances

As the article beautifully states, “God’s grace meets us, not in perfection but in our efforts to return, pause, and try again.” Every time we pause, whether we succeed or fall short, we are offered the chance to begin again. No impulsive reaction, no matter how intense, disqualifies us from God’s work of healing and transformation. Each new day, each new moment, is an opportunity to pause, respond, and grow.


Going Deeper

For more insights on the power of the Sacred Pause, you can explore these helpful resources:

Sacred Pause & the Path to Freedom”: Discover how the Sacred Pause can help us break free from impulsive reactions.

Arthur Brooks in Conversation with Simon Sinek at the 92nd Street Y: Brooks and Sinek discuss the importance of pausing before reacting and how this practice fosters empathy and understanding.

Viktor Frankl’s Reflections: Explore Frankl’s insight on the space between stimulus and response, where our growth and freedom lie.

John Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Learn more about the damaging patterns that arise from reactive, emotionally charged behavior.

Brown Bag Bible Study – Tuesdays at Noon (EST) on Zoom

Kicking off a new season with a new format on September 24!

We’re excited to launch the fall season of Brown Bag Bible Study on Tuesday, September 24, and invite you to join us! Whether you’ve been a part of this group for years or are considering joining for the first time, now is a great time to jump in as we introduce a new format that expands our circle and keeps the conversation meaningful in a shorter time frame.


What to Expect

We meet every Tuesday at Noon (EST) via Zoom. The space opens at 11:30 a.m. for casual conversation, and our study begins promptly at 12:00 p.m., wrapping up by 1:00 p.m.—perfect for anyone’s lunch break! Bring your lunch (hence the name “Brown Bag”) and join the conversation.

Our focus is on reflecting together on the previous Sunday’s sermon. A brief summary and discussion questions will be available on our website beforehand, so you can come prepared if you like, but everyone is welcome to join whether or not you’ve had a chance to review. Pastor Sterling Severns will guide the conversation, but it’s a time for shared discussion, where everyone’s perspective is valued.

“Perhaps the secret of living well is not in having all the answers, but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.”

– Rachel Naomi Remen


Who’s Invited?

This study is open to everyone—and now more than ever, we hope to expand our community. It’s a multi-generational space where folks of all ages and backgrounds are welcome. Whether you’re local, out of state, or even abroad, feel free to invite friends, family, or co-workers to join this welcoming conversation.


How to Join

Visit www.tbcrichmond.org for the Zoom link, sermon summaries, and reflection questions. For any questions, feel free to reach out to Pastor Sterling at pastor@tbcrichmond.org.

Whether you’re joining from close by or far away, bring your curiosity and an open heart. We’re excited for this new season and we look forward to seeing you on Tuesdays at Noon!

If a Tree Falls in the Northside

I’ve always had a thing for trees. Ask me about the places I’ve lived, and eventually, I’ll tell you about a tree I loved. One tree, in particular, stood sentinel over the home where we raised our children on the northside of Richmond, Virginia. Perhaps it’s my favorite.

We welcomed the shade it provided over three-quarters of the house for three-quarters of almost every year we lived there. In autumn, it blazed a shade of yellow that I’ll struggle to describe for the rest of my days. That tree was a constant presence during a time when everything else in our lives spun in constant motion.

I remember a contractor once telling me that the tree’s canopy probably cut our electric bill in half. Our old house, with its century-old glass windows and lack of insulation, was far from energy efficient, and money was really tight back then. At the time, I was simply grateful for the way the tree’s shade eased some of the financial burden. These days, gratitude sparks more imagination. I place the tree in a circle, of innumerable angel investors, funding diapers-in-bulk, gymnastics classes, car repairs, Lego sets, rare getaways with Laura, and so much more.

So many of our children’s birthday parties took place under that tree. Candles on cakes marked another year around the sun, while tree rings recorded the passage of time. The vast majority of the first decade of sermons I preached were written and memorized beneath its branches. The pressure of weekly deadlines at the pulpit was difficult for me, an insecure writer. I suppose the sheer size and longevity of the tree helped put things into perspective.

And then there were those autumn days. The kids would disappear into gigantic piles we’d just raked together, emerging with pieces of leaves tangled in their hair. I love that tree for so many reasons.

The early diagnosis came as an afterthought from someone in passing, “Your tree looks like it’s struggling.” Soon thereafter the arborist delivered the blow, “Your tree is dead and needs to come down.” The second expert was more direct: “Take it down before it crushes your house or hurts a child.”

It took some time to absorb, and even more time to wrestle with the guilt. It took less than two hours to take down a tree that had taken 200 years to grow. Memories of it always evoke sadness and gratitude for me.

In the first half of my life, in those years we were raising our children, I would have attempted to deny or eradicate the sadness. But here’s the thing, I’m discovering the gift of embracing the hard stuff, because it appears that this is where we eventually find the best stuff.

It’s “joy coming in the morning”

It’s “Friday, but Sunday’s coming”

It’s “there’s a crack in everything, that’s where the light gets in”

It’s “inconsolable longing”

It’s “the worst thing is never the last thing”

It’s the wisdom of the every-day saints gone before us.

It’s the suffering servant walking beside us.

It’s the path to peace which, in the gift of time, transforms us into peacemakers.

The day the tree was felled, a clearing appeared in the very place the canopy once stood. I didn’t see it then. I see it now.

The rain came down, sunlight shone through, and the soil, nourished in the very place where that old tree, and the others before it, once towered over, absorbed the gift, and, in the gift of time, the seedling grew.

Lucy Maud Montgomery says, “I am sure I could not have been more than four years old when I first consciously took note of the trees that watched over me.”

Take note, friends. God watches over all of us. Yes, many of us knew it before but now, after what we’ve been through and what some are going through, we will know this gladness more fully and be grateful for it. For all of it.

May the peace of Christ be with you.

Rev. Sterling W. Severns

Pastor

From The Building & Grounds Committee Vote Needed for a new Elevator Control Panel

Announcement:  Please Vote for an Elevator Control Panel Upgrade

Since the beginning of this year, the Building & Grounds Committee has continued its efforts in developing its 5-year strategic plan.  One of the priority items in that plan is what we need to do and when we need to do anything related to our elevator.  Researching turned out to be a very good idea from a planning ahead perspective.  We learned a lot of new information that has led the Administrative Board and Buildings and Grounds Committee to adjust our timeline for the Elevator Project.

Recommendation from the Building & Grounds Committee and the TBC Administrative Board:
We recommend moving forward with only the replacement of the obsolete control panel for our elevator as a proactive measure to minimize the downtime needed for this upgrade.  After consideration of three proposals, we recommend accepting the proposal from Metro Elevator, whose proposal seems to be the best in terms of price and customer service.  The quoted price for the control panel upgrade is $58,300.

Background Information
The elevator is currently operating well and has passed all inspections.  One of the vendors who evaluated our elevator indicated that a full modernization is not needed at this time, thinking we could wait several years.  That gives us time to raise money for the full upgrade.

  1. Time to Complete the Replacement of the Obsolete Control Panel Only
    We will not be able to use the elevator for the projected two weeks needed for the installation of the new control panel.  That means that we as a leadership team need to plan for being without the elevator for two weeks.  This is better than waiting for a problem with our obsolete control panel to occur and then wait for a company to be selected, plan the project, get the materials, and then get the project done, which would likely take at least 10-12 weeks from the time a control panel failure issue occurs.
  2. Limiting the Scope of Work
    If we were to fully modernize the elevator, we would likely have to meet City code for such things as fire code.  That would cost a significant amount of money and time.  We understand that we can get an emergency obsolete control panel project approved by the City without addressing code concerns.  That gives us an upgrade to elevator operations until we more fully plan for the $200,000+ expense of modernization and meeting code.
  3. Paying for the Project
    We recommend moving forward using available church funds to pay for the new control panel installation, with the understanding that we will immediately begin to raise money for this specific project as an initial step in church fundraising over the next several years.  The Administrative Board will work to realign pending projects if needed and as appropriate to manage church funds well.  The congregation will receive an update on the full scope of all facility-related projects in our next Business Meeting to keep you fully informed.

Your votes for this elevator control panel upgrade will begin on June 30th.  Immediately after your approval for this project at the end of the church vote on July 14th, the B&G Committee will begin negotiations for scheduling this work.  Our hope is to get this work completed for our fall church activities. To Vote electronically CLICK HERE.

Please do not hesitate to direct your questions to Donna Soyars at soundsidedfs@gmail.com.

Vote on The 2024-25 Fiscal Year (July 1 – June 30) Budget.

Budget Vote for TBC Fiscal Year 2024-25

There were no suggestions for changes to the FY 2024-25 Budget so you may now vote on the budget. Voting opens on June 14, and will end on June 26, 2024. Major financial expenditures like these budgets require at least 50 votes. Click here for a copy of the TBC Budget.

Click Here to vote electronically. Paper Ballots will also be available in the back of the Sanctuary.

Please remember, you need to be a member of TBC to vote and you may only vote once.

Come and See

Standing in the stairway, welcoming a neighbor into the building, our conversation follows a familiar path. “How is your family? You know I’m always going to ask you that because I know your family is important,” they say. This neighbor, despite their own complex family history and solitude living situation, consistently takes the time to ask about my loved ones. There is nothing unusually deep or unique about the conversation, yet it yields empathy and compassion. It’s the moment I see the best of my neighbor.

This is when I recognize Christ in my neighbors face. It’s this moment where we are genuinely caring for each other, that I see a more complete picture of my neighbor. This pushes me towards deeper empathy and understanding.

Holy moments happen all the time. They unfold in normal conversation, with the participants leaving knowing they were on holy ground. They don’t depend on your ability to fix or assist, but rather on simply being present and authentically engaging with others.

Amidst the holy moments on Saturday mornings, we offer a hot meal, food and clothes. Food might be the “why” that brings people into the building but it should not trump getting to know our neighbors. When we look at our neighbors with love, we see the best parts of them—we see Jesus. Come and see.

-April

Saturday, May 18, 7:30 – 11:15 a.m. We would love for you to join us on Saturday morning. There is an opportunity for everyone: signing in neighbors, cooking breakfast, assisting neighbors with shopping, restocking, organizing clothes, loading cars and of course the best opportunity of all— enjoying time with neighbors around the table. 

Please sign up and let the team know you are coming! 

https://docs.google.com/…/1FAIpQLSf4HUJAN7dD2l…/viewform

Holy Week Schedule

March 24, 11:00 AM – Palm Sunday Worship in the Sanctuary
 
March 28, 6:00-7:30 PM – Maundy Thursday Communion Service in the
                                           Sanctuary
              
        Foot Washing 6:00-6:25 PM      Communion Service 6:30-7:30 PM

*** Because we are preparing food for Maundy Thursday, an RSVP to Judy@tbcrichmond.org would be really helpful.  If you discover you can come and have not sent an RSVP please come on anyway! ***

March 29, 7:00 PM – Good Friday Service: Stations of the Cross in the   
                                   Sanctuary
 
March 30, 5:00 PM – Easter Egg Hunt at the home of Judy and Eric Fiske
                                   Contact Judy@tbcrichmond.org for the address
                                                                     
March 31, 9:00 AM   Easter Breakfast in the Fellowship Hall
                11:00 AM    Easter Worship in the Sanctuary,
                                    Christ is Risen Indeed!!

Anxiety: A Lenten Reflection by Frederick Buechner

Written by Frederick Buechner, Whistling in the Dark

“Have no anxiety about anything,” Paul writes to the Philippians. In one sense it is like telling a woman with a bad head cold not to sniffle and sneeze so much or a lame man to stop dragging his feet. Or maybe it is more like telling a wino to lay off the booze or a compulsive gambler to stay away from the track.

Is anxiety a disease or an addiction? Perhaps it is something of both. Partly, perhaps, because you can’t help it, and partly because for some dark reason you choose not to help it, you torment yourself with detailed visions of the worst that can possibly happen. The nagging headache turns out to be a malignant brain tumor. When your teenage son fails to get off the plane you’ve gone to meet, you see his picture being tacked up in the post office among the missing and his disappearance never accounted for. As the latest mid-East crisis boils, you wait for the TV game show to be interrupted by a special bulletin to the effect that major cities all over the country are being evacuated in anticipation of nuclear attack. If Woody Allen were to play your part on the screen, you would roll in the aisles with the rest of them, but you’re not so much as cracking a smile at the screen inside your own head.

Does the terrible fear of disaster conceal an even more terrible hankering for it? Do the accelerated pulse and the knot in the stomach mean that, beneath whatever their immediate cause, you are acting out some ancient and unresolved drama of childhood? Since the worst things that happen are apt to be the things you don’t see coming, do you think there is a kind of magic whereby, if you only can see them coming, you will be able somehow to prevent them from happening? Who knows the answer? In addition to Novocain and indoor plumbing, one of the few advantages of living in the twentieth century is the existence of psychotherapists, and if you can locate a good one, maybe one day you will manage to dig up an answer that helps.

But answer or no answer, the worst things will happen at last even so. “All life is suffering” says the first and truest of the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths, by which he means that sorrow, loss, death await us all and everybody we love. Yet “the Lord is at hand. Have no anxiety about anything,” Paul writes, who was evidently in prison at the time and with good reason to be anxious about everything, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

He does not deny that the worst things will happen finally to all of us, as indeed he must have had a strong suspicion they were soon to happen to him. He does not try to minimize them. He does not try to explain them away as God’s will or God’s judgment or God’s method of testing our spiritual fiber. He simply tells the Philippians that in spite of them even in the thick of them they are to keep in constant touch with the One who unimaginably transcends the worst things as he also unimaginably transcends the best.  

“In everything,” Paul says, they are to keep on praying. Come Hell or high water, they are to keep on asking, keep on thanking, above all keep on making themselves known. He does not promise them that as a result they will be delivered from the worst things any more than Jesus himself was delivered from them. What he promises them instead is that “the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The worst things will surely happen no matter what that is to be understood but beyond all our power to understand, he writes, we will have peace both in heart and in mind. We are as sure to be in trouble as the sparks fly upward, but we will also be “in Christ,” as he puts it. Ultimately not even sorrow, loss, death can get at us there.

That is the sense in which he dares say without risk of occasioning ironic laughter, “Have no anxiety about anything.” Or, as he puts it a few lines earlier, “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, Rejoice!”

Philippians 4:4-7

Ash Wednesday: Feb 14, 2024

Ash Wednesday marks the start of Lent, a season of deep reflection on human frailty and brokenness. It’s a season of honest and hopeful repentance. On this day, a cross of ash is gently placed on one’s forehead, accompanied by the solemn reminder, “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.” 

We invite you to join us for a portion of the day on February 14th to take part in the observance of Ash Wednesday.

11 AM – 5:30 PM The sanctuary will be open You may choose to simply receive ashes only, or stay a little longer for meditation and prayer. 


5:30-6:20 PM  Join us for pancake dinner. (Suggested Donation of $5 per Person)


6:30-7:15 PM  Join us for a communal Ash Wednesday Service in the Sanctuary.  The service will include music, readings, a reflection and the imposition of ashes.